I did it.

The agent I met with at the Write-To-Publish Conference last month said, “Send me your novel as it is, even unfinished, so I can evaluate it.” I didn’t quite do that. I’d written two chapters in the month before the conference, but had lost the file with the latest typed version. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about finding the lost file.

Being delayed in the finding and polishing, I decided to delay a sending little bit to add some more chapters, so as to get the book to the first plot point. That’s the point where the hero experiences the event that triggers him to go on with the quest. I finished to that point on Sunday, and have spent the last three days proof-reading and polishing. Those edits I completed tonight (bringing the word count to 21,200), saved the file with a new date. I had only to attach it to a simple e-mail to the agent and click “send”.

Fear entered in at that point. Fear of rejection? Fear of success? I don’t know. At our appointment at the conference, once the agent liked the concept of the book, she asked, “What kind of platform do you have?” “Platform” for a novelist means “ready-made audience.” What do I have? A blog with 14 followers and 350-450 page views per month, a new writer’s web site, a Facebook fan page with 6 followers, two self-published e-books with a total of 11 sales. A writers critique group of 6 regulars and 13 on the mailing list. In short, nothing.

This is a make or break time. Short of a financial windfall, I won’t be going to any more conferences, and almost no unknown novelists get discovered through the slush pile. My chances of being so discovered are quite low. So selling my book through a face-to-face meeting is probably my best shot. Since that might be my last face-to-face meeting with an agent, this is probably my last shot. Thus, clicking “send” carried a lot more weight that a simple mouse movement.

So I hesitated; re-read my e-mail and made a change or two; re-read some of a scene in the book but could find nothing I wanted to change. Finally I did it.  clicked “send”—and Yahoo e-mail said I had typed an invalid e-mail address. Ah hah! An omen! Or maybe a God-sent hesitation. Or maybe just a stupid typo. I fixed the typo and clicked “send” again before I could over think the hesitation.

So it’s gone, now sitting in the agent’s inbox, ready for her to open, read the simple e-mail, open the attachment, love the book, pick up the phone (or e-mail me) and say, “I love ! Let’s talk representation.”

Did I ever mention that my dreams are very, very big?