In recent weeks I have experienced three instances where “wrongs” were done against me, at least in my perception. I don’t want to go into any details. Let’s just say that two of the three are certain, while the third is “iffy”.

The last two of these, the certain ones, were on the same day,  almost on top of each other. It threw me for a loop for a couple of days. I went around depressed—not a clinical type depression, but more of a  wondering how to handle the two situations. One of them, if I didn’t want to, I would never have to see the person again. The other didn’t include that luxury. The third, the lesser one, was more a case of where I was very disappointed in someone’s words, words not directed at me but at a situation in life in general.

If I remember correctly, the two things happened on a Friday. Saturday evening, as is my habit, I took a look at the Life Group lesson I would teach the next day. It was Jesus cursing the fig tree, it shriveling up, and how he taught the disciples from this. It’s found in the two of the gospels, Matthew and Mark. I studied from my “Harmony of the Gospels”. It’s been enjoyable to use my own study tool for this series.

Jesus cursed the fig tree on Monday of Holy Week. He said, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again!” It was on Tuesday, when they passed the same way to go to Jerusalem that the disciples noticed the tree had withered. They questioned Jesus about how this happened, to which he replied that through prayer this was possible, using his metaphor of the mountain being cast into the sea.

But then, he added something, sort of the unsolicited advice he gave when he noted the true condition of someone’s mind and heart before they did. He said, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sin.” This particular teaching is found in Matthew but not Mark.

This hit me hard. I realized I held something against someone, against three someones. If I were praying, and if I expected my prayers to be successful, I needed to forgive them. I wasn’t to wait for them to realize the wrong they’d done and ask for forgiveness. My forgiving them was to be instantaneous, and not asked for. This wasn’t something to delay into the future, when next we meet.

As I studied my lesson, I kept coming back to that concept. Maybe the things I held against these people weren’t wrongs at all. Perhaps my perception of what they did was wrong. Perhaps what they did was unintentional: they didn’t recognize what the consequences of their action or words would be. None of that mattered. I was to forgive.

My forgiveness would be for me, not for them. They wouldn’t know about it. The scripture doesn’t say I’m to seek them out and express this forgiveness to them. How would that sound? “Hey, sir or madam, you don’t realize you wronged me, and you haven’t asked for forgiveness, but I forgive you anyways.” No, I don’t think that’s what Jesus intended. You forgive, immediately, whether they ever ask or not.

So, I did that. I forgave each of them, and hold no animosity to them. In one case I could see that the person was actually helpful, but did so in a clumsy way. Another was a simple mental lapse due to disorganization, certainly with no evil intent. The third is a difference of opinion, and will likely forever remain so. I ought to be able to allow others to have different opinions without holding a grudge.

I learned my lesson. Let’s hope that I’ll be able to put it into practice going forward without having those bad moments of moping about wrongs or perceived wrongs.