Category Archives: Health

An Enjoyable Loss of Sleep

Will this be my only poetry book, or will inspiration to write more ever return?

This morning I awoke at about 4:30 a.m., did a restroom break, went back to bed, and couldn’t sleep. This has happened before. Normally I go right back to sleep after being up in the night, but sometimes, only on the later in the night awakenings, I don’t fall asleep. At 5:30 I decided lying there with disjointed thoughts was silly and got up. Throwing on a long sleeve shirt, slipping my feet into my aging and almost done-for slippers, I took my mug of water and headed for the sun room to read.

No coffee, you ask? No, I don’t like to take coffee before I weigh and take my blood sugar, and I wasn’t ready for the latter. So I went to the sun room and started to read in Jack, a life of C.S. Lewis by George Sayer. I had loaned this book to a friend and asked for it back recently, as I wanted to read it again. I say “again” as I’m not 100 percent sure I read it before. I think I did, well over ten years ago, about the time our Life Group was studying The Screwtape Letters. I’ll know if I read it before if, in the last chapter, I find a certain scene there. If this is my second time through it, it’s quite fresh and enjoyable, given the time lapse since the first reading.

The windows in the sun room were still open, and it was cold. I regretted not pulling on jeans and my inside jacket. The temperature was to get down to 40 overnight, and I was sure it was that low. Outside, the air was stirring. Breezes came and went. The rustling in the adjacent wood was almost constant, though never strong. Occasionally it came through the open window before me. Why didn’t I shut the window? And the one to my side? Why didn’t I go back to the bedroom and get dressed more properly? For one, I didn’t want to risk waking Lynda. Also, I much enjoy being slightly cold. It was easier to pull a blanket over my legs and chest and enjoy the coolness.

I read with good concentration and made much progress. Shortly after 6:00 a.m., Lynda opened the door. We had a brief conversation. I got up, weighed, took my sugar, got dressed, got coffee, and went back to the sunroom and reading, while Lynda went back to bed for a while. I returned to my reading, but with a little less concentration. Thoughts of poetry began to take some brain space away from the words on the page. Oh, my comprehension was still fine. It’s just that I’d like to be able to write poetry again.

Poetry is probably an affectation for me, not something I should spend time on. When I wrote quite a bit of poetry over a decade ago, I enjoyed it. I don’t know whether I produced good poetry, but it was the type of poetry I like to read, so it was good for me. In my mind I’ve outlined six additional poetry books, and have listed their potential titles on the page. I know the order I’d like to write them in. Yet, I have no inspiration beyond that.

I’m not going to force it. I have too much else to write, both works-in-progress and planned, to devote time to poetry without inspiration. I like to say that poetry comes either by inspiration or perspiration, and probably requires both. I’m going to wait, however, and not apply the perspiration in hopes that the inspiration follows. I think the opposite order of things is better.

I need to get the Leader’s Guide for this done, but it’s progressing painfully slowly. More perspiration needed, I think.

So what will my day consist of, now that the sun has risen enough behind the dense cloud cover to show light through the trees outside The Dungeon windows? I hope to finish a chapter in the Leader’s Guide to Acts Of Faith. I made some progress on it last night. I hope to write a scene in “Tango Delta Foxtrot”, and get that to the halfway point. I have a few short-term stock trades on, a couple of which will come to a conclusion today; I’ll have to pay attention to them, though all looks good right now.

I have some engineering work to do. I went by the office of my old company yesterday and picked up two project for review. One, I’m fairly sure, is small and I can possibly complete in less than two hours. The other may be larger; I won’t know for sure till I get into it. Plus I have construction reports to review. I anticipate spending three or four hours today, and as much as needed tomorrow to complete these tasks. It will cut into my writing time, but the money is good, and it’s also good for me to keep my mind engaged in engineering work.

One other thing I may do today, time permitting. II might create the computer folder and files for my next book. Tentatively titled The Sayings, it is book 3 in my Church History novels series. I plan on starting it next month, but it, too, is taking up gray cells. I need to get a few things on “paper” so that I don’t lose them. Plot threads are coming to mind. Specific scenes are coming to mind as I read for research. I’m not sure I’ll do this, but perhaps it’s better to get it done and see if I can free up that brain power for the real tasks at hand.

So, it’s going to be a full day for sure. Some exercise would be good as well. I would say that this is a day when I have truly “awakened the dawn”.

A Sign of Aging?

You see many things about aging. Now that I’m in the senior citizen category, I pay more attention to them. Sometimes I identify way too much with them.

A little at the end of the nostril each night makes me sleep a little better.

My day to go to Wal-Mart for groceries is, at the moment, Thursday. I was going on Friday (a change from pre-retirement Saturday), but shifted to Thursday, probably for no good reason. The store is a little less crowded Thursday afternoon compared to Friday afternoon.

So last Thursday (not yesterday) I went. I took with me six cloth grocery bags. I hate to bring home a bunch of plastic bags. We recycle them when we get them, taking them to a thrift store for re-use, but I still hate to take them. I stuffed the six bags in the seat portion of the shopping cart and proceeded with my shopping.

One item on my list from the pharmacy section was a bottle of Vicks VaporRub. Actually, I would be okay with the generic store brand and intended to get that. But this WM is re-merchandising and updating everything. That day they were working on the pharmacy shelves, and had the aisle blocked that I needed to go down. But, on the end-cap was a display with small bottles of Vicks. I said the heck with going around to get to the aisle from the other way, so I picked up a box of Vicks and put it in the basket.

Later, at the check out, my purchases needed only four of the six cloth bags. I left the other two in the basket, paid, walked out to the car. When I loaded things in I found the Vicks, still in the basket, hiding with the two extra bags and obviously not paid for.

What should I do? Obviously I should walk back to the store from my distant parking space and pay for it. I decided not to and drove on home. At some point while driving, I realized I could bring it back on my next trip to Wal-Mart and pay for it with the next week’s purchases. That seemed like a good plan. I managed to (unintentionally) sneak it out of Wal-Mart, surely I could sneak it in.

The next day, Friday, I thought I should put that box in a prominent place on the kitchen table so that I wouldn’t forget it on my next trip. But, the box was nowhere to be found. I hadn’t put it in the bathroom or on my night stand or on the dining room table or on the kitchen table or on the kitchen counter or anywhere such products might be put while waiting to be taken to their proper place. Where was that thing? I began to think maybe I had left it in the shopping cart. That would have been fitting since I didn’t pay for it. And the double absent-mindedness was certainly a sign that I have for certain taken my place among the ranks of senior citizens.

Yes, I really did it.

The story continues, however. Sunday, as I was fixing a couple of fresh vegetables to go with our leftover stir-fry, as I pulled things out of the vegetable drawer in the fridge, there was the box of Vicks, hiding beneath some zucchini. I include the photo to show that it really did happen. It was indeed double absent-mindedness, just in a different way than expected.

The end of the story is anticlimactic. Yesterday I brought the Vick with me to Wal-Mart, hiding beneath those same cloth bags in the shopping cart basket. I went through the store, made my selections, and checked out, making sure this time the Vicks was on the conveyor. I told the clerk about it, and we had a good laugh together at my expense.

So, while I may be of a certain age, when the brain and many other functions begin to go, or have already gone, I had the wherewithal to sneak something into Wal-Mart. I’ll feel good about that for a while.

 

Sickness Continues but may be Breaking

Somewhere around last Thursday I came down with a cold. Actually, the symptoms showed up a day or two earlier. They progressed very typically for the colds I’ve had in the past. Saturday and Sunday were pretty bad, as I could accomplish nothing. This morning I feel a little better. It was so bad yesterday I didn’t feel like drinking coffee. Now that’s bad.

It’s been about two years since I’ve had a severe cold, maybe longer. Given that I’m now retired and don’t get out much, I wonder where I got it from. I went to Wal-Mart on the Thursday before my symptoms started, which seems too far. I went to a Martin Luther King memorial service on Monday, and the symptoms started on Tuesday. That seems the more likely place.

During this time I’ve suspended my exercising. Walking would about do me in.  The last two days I haven’t felt like eating. So, even though I haven’t exercised, my weight is down several pounds. I’ll have to figure out how to keep it off when I recover.

Once thing I did manage to do was finish reading Adam Of Jerusalem to Lynda, making editing marks as I went along. I also found the strength to type the edits, though I didn’t bother to reprint. I think I’m now ready to give it to my beta readers. One wants it as a PDF, which I can do today and send it. The other wants it in hard copy, but I may not see her for a couple of weeks. I’ll have to think about that.

So, here I am, in The Dungeon for the first time in several days, somewhat on the mend. At least the constant coughing is much reduced, though sinus drainage is as much as ever. I was able to look at the stock market this morning and make a couple of trades. I think I’ll be up to reading a little after a while. And, while I’m not very hungry, I’ll go upstairs now and fix some breakfast. That’s a sign of recovery.

Editing Consumes Me

This will be a short post today. Day before yesterday I began to get the symptoms of a cold, yesterday they came on strong, and today they linger. I may be a little better. Maybe.

So, yesterday and today I took life easy. I typed edits in Adam Of Jerusalem. I followed the stock market and made a few trades. In the evening I read four more chapters in AOJ to Lynda. I didn’t do any of my exercises yesterday, and don’t plan on doing any today. Yesterday I also went to the sun room to read, though I think I slept more than read. I hope to do the same today.

It’s been nearly two years since I had a cold. As I’m essentially a home body nowadays, I’m not sure where I got it. Perhaps it was going Monday to the Martin Luther King memorial service at our church. I didn’t speak up close with anyone; perhaps it was in the air.

I’m hoping that by tomorrow, Saturday, I’ll be back to 80%, and to full strength and health on Sunday.

Still No New Normal

Somewhere in this house, most likely in one of two places, I have a list started of blog posts I want to do. The list is on paper, one of the pads I want to use up rather than just discard. Do you think this morning, my regular day for blogging, I can find it? Of course not.

Instead of whatever I was thinking of for today, I’ll just post a stream-of-thought thing. What popped into my head was: I still haven’t found my new normal in retirement.

I have many things I should be doing. De-cluttering is a key one. Lynda has started on some de-cluttering, in a small way only but it’s a start. I’ve been working on it for a while, but haven’t done anything major for a while.

My main decluttering has been a little printing I did. How is that decluttering, you ask? It was four pages for the members of my new critique group. I printed them on the backs of old printed pages. I have two stacks of these, which are somewhat unobtrusive piles in two places, one quite large the other small. But, since I brought the pages back home with me, you might ask how is that decluttering? Once I incorporate their comments into my chapter, I’ll discard them into recycling. This is a departure from the past, where I kept all such critique sheets. No more.

Also yesterday I printed my completed novel, Adam Of Jerusalem, for my last editing pass through it. All 217 sheets are on reused paper. So, once I finish with this, it will be taken to recycling as well. The pile I pulled all these sheets from may in fact look a little smaller.

Today is a holiday, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. But now that I’m retired, it’s the same as other week days except the stock market is closed. I’m free to do whatever I want. I don’t even have to prepare any food, as we have left-overs from the prior cooking.

So what am I going to do? I should try to read 100 pages in the novel, editing as I go. I will try to find that list of blog post, and put it where I can find it when I need it. I’ll hit the elliptical, and try to do 1.2 miles on it in 0.2 mile increments. I’ll walk outside, hopefully my 2.4 mile route. It would be nice to read something for leisure, maybe something out of the large magazine pile (which will be multi-tasking since it will also count as decluttering). We may also head into town for a noon service celebrating MLK’s life. We’ll see.

Tomorrow will be another day into retirement. Perhaps, with the stock market open and having trades to make and watch, it will feel a little closer to a new normal.

Work on my two Carlyle Projects

Saturday I woke up with my knee hurting more than it has been lately. Friday evening it felt good, and I wanted to walk to the highway and back, a 1.3 mile round trip. However, I was barely out of the driveway when the pain told me I wasn’t going that far. I walked a total of 15 minutes, more or less hobbling back.

Yet, Saturday morning I was determined to work in the yard rather than baby my knee. So I went outside early and began sawing logs, along with bringing a large tree cutting up from halfway down the yard. I cut for over an hour, adding about 25 logs to the pile. I didn’t finish the big one, but I made a start on it, cutting two or three logs off of it. After that I raked for a while, then went up to the front of the house and swept and did other minor work. I had hoped to go for two hours, but after an hour and forty-five minutes I was done, heading back inside for some rest. In fact, I laid on the couch and slept for an hour or two. My knee hurt, but probably no worse than Friday evening.

Later in the day I vacuumed the basement, including The Dungeon portion of it; changed batteries in a couple of key technology pieces; washed out the furnace screens; put the recyclables into the van for delivery on Sunday; and made the weekly Wal-Mart grocery run. All in all, it was a busy and active day. I didn’t try walking in the evening.

What does that have to do with writing, you ask, which is, after all, the supposed subject of this blog? The activity, the busyness of the day, left my brain in no condition to work on my writing. I had two chapters to read to prepare to teach Life Group on Sunday, and barely had the brainpower to read them and prepare. In an unheard of event for a weekend night, we were in bed by 10:30 p.m.

Sunday afternoon found me ready for a nap, but I think I only slept 30 minutes at most, and was at my computer. Logic told me I should work on my Civil War book, still standing at 40 or so percent complete. Instead, still being somewhat below par in brainpower, I decided to format my book on Carlyle’s Chartism. I haven’t worked on this since March or April, when I downloaded most of the source documents into it and planned the purpose, contents, and order of the book. I decided to work on the formatting. I had pulled in things from at least 15 different websites, and had over 50 different text styles, all of which needed to be regularized.

I worked on this for about an hour and a half (after writing and posting at my other blog). I’m a long, long way from finishing the formatting, but it’s certainly in much better shape. I need to do some more searching for related out-of-copyright documents: contemporaneous reviews, historical reviews, and even some predecessor documents. I’ve also identified three copyrighted reviews from 1990 onwards that I’d like to include in it. I contacted one copyright holder about a different matter, so know where and how to reach them. I need to determine the other two copyright holders and contact all three to see if I can get permission to republish their articles.

So, I made progress on Sunday. It’s nothing that I can say, “Oh, three more hours and I’ll be done with that.” I don’t know how long the formatting will take me. If I were forced to guess, I’d say two more days like Sunday and the formatting of what I have in hand would be done. I need to find other documents and include them. And I need to write my own essay, or perhaps a couple, about Carlyle’s Chartism, but those are down the line. I think, if I concentrated on this only, I’d be a year or so away from having it done.

In my next post, possibly I’ll explain exactly what this book is, and its purpose.

Harder to Multi-task

I’m concentrating quite a lot on my health these days. I used to use most of my noon hour to write. Now, as soon as I finish eating, I go outside and walk, either a half-mile or mile depending on weather. Once it cools down some I may punch that up to a mile and a half.

Once I get in from my walk, I may have fifteen minutes left in my lunch hour, a perfect amount of time to get most of a blog post written, or edit part of most of a chapter either of my own work or someone’s in my writers group. Alas, I find I have no concentration for either.

In the evenings, after supper, Lynda and I go for a walk, usually between one and two miles. It’s in the upper 80s at this time, so when we get home I go down to The Dungeon, where it’s cooler and I can cool down faster. And write, perhaps a blog post, or get going on a chapter in a new book or short story. Or prepare two other books for their print versions. Except the last few nights I haven’t been able to concentrate. I end up playing mindless computer games for an hour, cool down fine, but am unproductive.

It’s as if the quest for weight loss and better health have taken over my mind, my being, and I have no ability to concentrate on anything else. I suppose that’s the way it’s been a good amount of the last ten years with my writing. And for the five years before that for genealogy. But it’s worse now. Now the health quest is consuming me, and I have no ability to multi-task my brain and do some activities in the other things.

Unfortunately, I estimate it’s going to take me another year or even a year and a half to get to the weight range I should be in. If I keep up the walking and occasional flexibility exercise, maybe add a little strength training, I’ll be in good shape to match my proper weight. Can I go that long with single tasking?

I don’t think so. Somehow I have to come to a point where I can do all the things that interest me, all the things that I need to do, and do them simultaneously.

I think that will be my goal for the rest of this year: balance competing, good activities. I’ll report back later with the results.

In a State of Rebellion

Over the last week or two I figured out what my problem is. The symptoms are that for the last month I haven’t felt like doing much. I come home in the evenings and just play computer games or read Facebook sites or…similar things.

I didn’t think it was burnout. I completed Operation Lotus Sunday in late May, and did all the publishing things by mid-June and had it up for sale. The before the end of June I had “Kicking Stones” polished and published and “Charley Delta Delta” written and ready for the critique group. I have multiple projects I could move on to next. One of them, a professional essay on learning, is written and half-edited.

Writer’s block wasn’t the problem either, as the ideas are flowing, and any time I did sit down to write the words flowed well. And my lethargy, if that’s the right word, spilled over into other areas. I quit checking the mail for bills, or checking my bill pile for what was due. I quit updating my financial spreadsheet, which was months behind. And at work I quit doing a number of the routine things I’m responsible for, focusing instead on the non-routine things. And I came close to quitting blogging, and updating my Facebook author page.

My problem wasn’t that I couldn’t do what I needed to do, it’s that I didn’t want to do what I needed to do.

Then it finally hit me: I was in a state of rebellion. Not against authority, but against responsibility. I was thinking of the carefree days of youth. I had been diligent for so long in all my work areas (home, office, writing), church, health, etc. that I was tired of being responsible. So I let all my responsibilities go, except I did keep working on getting to a point of better health.

I came on this realization over the last three weeks. To pull out of my rebellion I’ve been slowly ramping up my activities. I wrote a series of blog posts here last week (or maybe it was the week before), and did some posts on my other blog. That felt good to be writing again. Next I tackled my household financial spreadsheet. I managed to get caught up on expense and income entries last weekend, though I still have distribution and balancing to do. And tonight I verified that all checkbook entries are in the register and added the balance. So I think I have a better grasp on finances now.

At work I began to get back to doing those routine things. The last two days have been good as I got caught up on a bunch of training records, getting completion certificates out and managing our on-line training subscription. All that is pretty much up to date, and tomorrow I can tackle some other things.

With those off my mind, I can turn to the responsibility of ordering books to send to my launch team, and for selling by hand. I have a few people who want to buy them. And then I can turn to completing the essay and making an informed decision on what writing project to jump into next.

I’d love to write more, but I’m out of time if I’m going to be responsible about doing all that I must do, so I will end this. While at the doc’s office today I wrote out a schedule of blog posts for both blogs. I have the next two weeks covered, so you should see me here more often.

Miscellaneous Monday Musings

I was sick last week. It started Monday evening, when I felt a tickle in my throat. I thought nothing of it, though it did seem unusual. On Tuesday the tickle persisted, and I had to cough to relieve it. I told several people at work that it was just a tickle, and to not worry about my coughing.

Then, Wednesday morning I could feel the head cold starting. This is opposite of how my colds usually come. Usually I feel tiredness in the eyes a couple of days before the sinuses start working overtime. Sometimes those colds go to my chest after another couple of days, sometimes not. The last cold I had, back in October, I think, was mild and I didn’t miss any work.

This one came on strong Wednesday, mainly coughing but with some sinus drainage. Since some muscle pains later developed, I’ve concluded that I had a mild case of the flu. I left work early and mainly rested. Thursday and Friday I slept lots and lots. When I  wasn’t sleeping I was resting in my chair, reading in War Letters. I finished that, by the way, on Sunday, and wrote a review at my other blog. By Saturday I felt a little better, and was able to leave the house for a short while to pick up a computer from the techno doc. But I still took it easy for the most part. Stayed home Sunday, and left my Life Group without a teacher (since my co-teacher was out of town). I did arrange for someone from the class to lead the discussion in my absence. Now, on Monday, I’m at work, and running on 7 cylinders.

But throughout this period of sickness, I did get some writing work done.

  • Completed my writing business tax calculations for 2011 tax year, and filled out the forms. I made a little over $1,500.oo dollars, but after subtracting my expenses, which were inflated by the trip to Chicago in June (half of which was writing related), and after subtracting my home office deduction (allowable since The Dungeon is a dedicated writing space), I made a profit of $1.36. Or, stated otherwise, my writing income paid fully for my writing habit and contributed about $530 to household expenses. Not bad.
  • Added about 1,600 words to The Candy Store Generation, completing Chapter 3 and working on Chapter 4. The book now stands at around 16,000 words, or a few hundred less, on its way to 40,000 or so. I’m not sure that the words I wrote in the flu-induced stupor are any good. The editing process will determine that.
  • Wrote a construction administration column due for Buildipedia.com. I wrote that yesterday evening, and typed and submitted it this morning. It was due last Friday, but I figure at the start of work Monday morning is about the same as midnight at the end of Friday, so I’m declaring it “on-time”. Not sure how the editor will see it.
  • Uploaded my second short story, “Too Old To Play,” to Smashwords. It’s available for purchase there. Now waiting for the Smashword Meatgrinder to tell me if it qualifies for the Premium Catalogue, or if changes will be needed.
  • Cleaned up a couple of piles of writing papers. These were mostly extra copies from critique group. I discovered two that had critical comments on In Front of Fifty Thousand Screaming People, and made those edits. This wasn’t hard work, and the living room is two piles cleaner.

I also balanced the checkbook, though that’s not writing related. Also washed some dishes.

So, despite the cold (or the flu), I made a little progress. Let’s see what a week of reasonably good health will bring.

Brain Dead and Body Tired

I’m along this weekend, batching it while the wife is in Oklahoma City helping with grandkids as first one, then the other, parent has been off for conferences. So I should be living it up, right? Getting done all those things I never seem to do when Lynda is here. Writing up a storm.

Instead, I’m basically immobile. I sat through three days of corporate meetings this week, and the inactivity left me exhausted. I’ve come home and had no energy. My blood sugar has been pretty good, so that’s not the problem. My right knee is killing me, and my left knee is not back to 100 percent, residuals of the tick disease of the summer. So I come home from work and crash. I slept well last night, then napped some this morning and even an hour this afternoon. So I’m in good shape for sleep.

I’ve done some work on writing. I received the cover for the print version of Documenting America on Friday, and uploaded it to CreateSpace. Today I received the email saying it was all accepted. All that’s left now is ordering the proof copy, and deciding on price and payment methods. I’ve also been proof-reading Doctor Luke’s Assistant in preparation for publishing it electronically. I haven’t had the energy to get back to writing for content sites.

So, I’m going to muddle through for a while, and hope my body, aided here and there by medicines, is able to fight off this rheumatoid arthritis attack spawned by the tick-borne bacteria. Now to leave the comfort of my chair in The Dungeon, limp upstairs, and head to Wal-Mart.