I’m not writing anything at present. The demands of life and realities of the publishing business are the cause. Continuous mental tiredness–partly in anticipation of life activities I know are coming–and perceived unlikelihood of selection for publishing are the specifics. I’ve discarded a few scraps that once upon a time I might have saved and made into poems. If other ideas for writing have passed through my mind (which I don’t think they have of late), I have allowed them to break the speed limit upon exit.
During this time, I have also laid aside my reading list in favor of reading several notebooks full of previously downloaded articles. Most of these are writing helps, from websites or small e-books the gurus and semi-gurus of the industries have produced. When writing is an exciting thing, these look and sound good. When writing sours, these only take up shelf space. So I’m reading them and sticking them in a recycling/reuse pile. At home, that pile is about 10 inches high. At work, I’d say about two reams of paper. Both are still growing, and the end is not yet.
At home, most of these papers are related to fiction: how to write it, how to edit it, how to sell it, how to market it. Most of it is all good stuff. I had read about half of it and kept it. Now, on second read, I realize keeping it is not needed. The other half I may have skimmed, but never read. Now on first read, I realize keeping it is not needed. I’m keeping a few things, on book proposals and query letters. I suppose a spark of hope for future gumption still exists.
At work, most of it is related to poetry: how to write it, what makes it good, how to properly use metaphor, figures of speech, etc, etc. Most of this I read upon initial download, and saved for some footling reason. All of this is going. The notebook I’m working on does not contain a thing I could not access again from the Internet, nor is any of it that essential to my poetic development. So into the recycling box it goes, emptied weekly and thus irretrievable should I change my mind.
Another thing I’m adding to the home recycling/reuse pile is old copies of Doctor Luke’s Assistant. One of these is an early version, the one I gave to my first beta readers. The other is the next-to-last version, the one with hand-written edits that I made just before submitting to an agent and my most recent beta readers. When I began discarding this last one, I turned the pages to see if the edits were really done, evidenced by being yellowed-out. Most were, but I found a few to which I had not applied the marker. So I went to the computer, pulled up the official copy, and began going page by page. I found a few things that actually had not been typed. These were not typos, but rather improvements in wording to eliminate passive voice, wordiness, repeated words, modern contractions, etc. And, I found a few places where I could made a new improvement. Why bother, I don’t know, but I made them. I went through about a hundred pages last night. After I complete this, that paper version will go as well.
I kept all these past versions of DLA based on the advice from David Morrell (author of First Blood and creator of the Rambo character). He says to save everything: every hand-written scrap, every typed draft, every edit, and when the book is written and published (yeah, right), box them up and keep them as a record and for posterity. I don’t think I will be following his advice in this regard any longer. Why have to move a box with about fifteen reams of paper next time we move, simply to create a record of how I wrote a book that was never published?
All of this is somewhat releasing, dare I say exhilarating. I’m not experiencing a bit of sorrow in the process, other than for the trees I must have killed in the original printing.
